"the genitals confetti," a.k.a. "why weddings are ridiculous" and more!!!

I was almost sure I'd misunderstood the housekeeper on the other end of the mobile line, but one never knows in a hotel. Waiting for the service elevator in the kitchen was noisy business, and the connection wasn't very clear. She repeated what she'd said, and I asked her back to clarify, "There's a monkey in the room?!"

She laughed and said in her Spanish accent, "No, Bethany, they were smoking in the room!" We both laughed at the miscommunication, and I told her I would come check it out.

A little humor was great in the middle of this morning, because this morning sucked. :P Oh let me count the ways in which it sucked and/or was awkward!

1. I didn't read my Bible before going to work, which is a pretty good reason for why I felt out of sorts to begin with, but then...

2. I was flippin' tired. I went to hang out with friends last night over dinner and a movie, expecting to be home around 10pm. I ended up in bed around midnight--and was at work by 8am.

3. I felt sick this morning. My throat hurts like something is swollen, and my stomach was queasy too.

4. We were at 78% occupancy last night, meaning we were BUSY today, and NO ONE would check out of their rooms. It meant that we almost had staff standing around because there wasn't enough work to go around--and yet this afternoon will be killer. (Not gonna lie...I'm happy that I only had to work a half day today!)

5. A cranky guest complained about the lack of cream and sugar available for coffee in her room, so I brought her extra--5 extra creams and 5 extra sugars--only to have her complain that it still wasn't enough. I didn't know a person could put 10 creams and 10 sugars in a mug of coffee, but there you have it. She smiled once I brought her more, so that helped. :)

6. The penis confetti. Ah yes, the penis confetti. First of all, whoever created confetti in the first place should be shot. And whoever thinks it's a great idea to bring confetti to a hotel should, well, have a cleaning fee added to his/her bill. (Which we do.) Anyway, because of all the crazy wedding stuff that's been going on this weekend--why we were so busy--I shouldn't be surprised to find confetti in one of our rooms in the shape of penises and breasts. I just wonder who in his or her right mind would actually BUY the stuff?

7. The penis tie. Ok, this was actually from yesterday, but someone had a men's tie, shaped and colored like a penis, hanging over a guest room door through which I needed to pass to deliver a requested mini fridge. The worst part of this? There were like six guys just chilling in the room when I showed up. At least they were watching a soccer game on tv and not leering at me. :)

8. The couple having sex across the hall from where I was inspecting rooms. I could've gone the rest of my life without hearing people have sex at my workplace. I felt...so incredibly awkward. I guess I'm glad for them for enjoying their stay at the hotel, but really, I'd rather hear about it through our comment cards, not audibly through the walls.

I think that's about it. I'm just SUPER glad that I'm home now and can relax and take a nap if I want to, which I really do. It's been a trying weekend. :)


[I feel violated holding this in my hand, but I had to prove it was real! Would I make up genital confetti? Really? Not even for the sake of pulling in a crowd of readers would I make that up. :P]